I have ranted long and hard about the tragic absurdity of the SUV fashion.
I always get lots of kickback but the excuses for SUVs are increasingly pathetic, in contrast with the sales that are constantly increasing.
So I am fighting a losing battle.
It isnpired me to write a doggerel poem:
I’ll explain this now but you may not care
This is not a rant, it’s more a prayer.
News about EV sales has been unfurled
It’s now 14% around the world
That’s still so small I hear you cry, that number is low
To which I say it was only 5% a couple of years ago
And in the damp Island I call home
17% of new car sales were electric alone
Okay, I said it’s a poem, I didn’t suggest it was going to be a good one.
So that’s good news let’s shout it loud,
Each electric car removes a burnt fuel cloud
However, there’s a fact over which we cannot gloss
One type of vehicle’s sales are boss
They are anathema to many and definitely me
Of course I’m talking about the SUV
Now before upon you high horse you get
I will say this now and don’t forget
I don’t mean 2nd hand or 3rd hand rumblers
With comfy arm rests and space for coffee cups and tumblers
I’m talking about people who in 2023 or 2024
Buy a brand new petrol or diesel SUV and still want more
But here’s a fact that will cause a chill
For no matter what I say this figure will
make you feel rather ill
In 2023, that’s just last year
The sales of SUVs caused manufacturers to cheer.
The oil companies smiled and had a cup of tea
Because 53% of global new vehicle sales were SUV.
Let’s be honest it’s not very nice as you sit in heavy traffic
In your 3 ton SUV belching out burnt gas, it’s almost pornographic
So please hear my plea and just before you decide to buy
A brand new SUV so you can sit up high
And feel more safe, even though all the data suggests that this is not the case
I have one suggestion of something you can buy to take that ridiculous, heavy, inefficient SUV’s place.
Yes, use your wealth to buy an SUV that’s highly desirable
Just as big, a bit faster and way way more reliable
It costs the same to buy brand new but it’s much much cheaper to drive
A big fat heavy electric SUV will make sure that you arrive
Outside your school to pick up kids or at Wholefoods supermarket
It’ll have loads of cameras built in to make it easy to park it
And you won’t pump out stinky fumes for mums and kids to breath
And every time you set out the tank is full which is a great relief
There are now loads of 100% electric SUV’s that are for sale or lease
So we are all standing around and saying please please please
Stop buying these combustion monsters that are choking up our streets
walk, bike, bus, train jog or increase our electric fleets
That’s all, I’ve run out of poem.
A few last points
Building a 3 ton petrol SUV does not have a zero CO2 impact far from it. And every mile it is driven that impact increases and increases.
Each year, globally, SUVs belch out 700 megatonnes of CO2, about the entire output of the UK and Netherlands combined.
If all SUV drivers banded together to form their own country, it would rank as the seventh largest emitter in the world.
I know I mangled words and my poem was too pleading
But as always if you have been, thank you for reading
The SUV phenomena continues to baffle me. Cost more to run. Often less or no more space, higher centre of gravity (a bad thing), not to mention uses far more raw materials. Rant away, Bobby!
I understand the sentiment because the poem pretty much states what the average SUV consumer needs to care about. Getting them to do so is the challenge.
Currently, the problem is consumers desire them and can afford them, and manufacturers continue to give them what they like. Fuel consumption and running costs seems acceptable enough for those owners to start with., so I guess they don't matter to SUV drivers.
One solution might be to tax them heavily per year- I'm going to get taxed from next year for driving an EV (however they'll name it- Motor Excise Duty isn't an applicable name really for an EV) if that's still on the cards, so maybe making SUV's attract a cost that way might restrict purchases? I realise taxes would only apply per country or as a block like in the EU, but equally the tax stamped on SUVs right now is probably a few hundred at the moment, which again seems acceptable to those people that want to own them. So would raising it or doubling/tripling a tax really matter if they're paying the price of an SUV to start with?
It's a sad state of affairs, once something is invented and there's demand, it tends to be catered for.