9 Comments
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KAREN  BROOKMAN's avatar

Agree with what Grayling said, some typos, Kieth and Shiela and 'tuning' the lights on. I know, forgive me, I was once teaching. Left that as I don't agree with the level of conformity amongst other things. Anyway, once again a good read, another layer of intrigue, why is the bank so secretive, why did she leave him that money, just for him. Feels like you are laying the foundations of certain characters, peeling away the layers bit by bit until all will be revealed. I did say once a week would be fine now I can't wait for the next one!

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Ian Thompson's avatar

Oh, I didn't mind Kieth - you could just make him Eastern European and swap the 'i' for a 'y'... or else he could be the Ford Prefect of the book, coming from another place, picking a normal sounding British name to be inconspicuous and just getting it ever so slightly wrong.

Onward!

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Grollies's avatar

I'm enjoying this. Keep it coming?

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Robert Llewellyn's avatar

I've already written 6 chapters so there will be more

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Adriana Spalinky's avatar

I read bakelite and immediately fell into an on odd stupor...

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Adriana Spalinky's avatar

I got 3 typos... Well two of them were likely miss-phrases

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Grayling's avatar

I'm not sure if "Kieth" is an intentional spelling or it's meant to be Keith.

The story is definitely intriguing and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

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Robert Llewellyn's avatar

It's a typo, there's always one that gets through, usually about 10 in my case. Many thanks, Will correct

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Grayling's avatar

You did well with just one... You should read some of my work, it'll make you feel a lot better about your one.

Also, part of our job as your editors/feedback team is to catch typos.

Thank you for taking time to reply. It's very kind of you.

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